My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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