the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
