We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
