please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
