I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
