I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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