she was so not down for the gang bang
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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