no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
