I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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