eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
