I wish I only lived at night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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