Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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