Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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