I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
