I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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