ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize