Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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