Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish i was in the wii world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
