i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
