Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
