Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
