His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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