I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
