i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
