I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
