What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
