did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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