Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I believe in your delicious
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
