Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
