I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize