I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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