My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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