I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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