I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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