He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
