I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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