she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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