when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
