I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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