Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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