you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
