is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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