my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
