Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize