I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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