I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
