Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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