don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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