FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
