can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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