I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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