So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
