All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
