hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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