Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
