Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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