My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
