NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
