What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
