I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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