i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
